Inner conflicts... Do you recognise them or maybe even worse: do you have them? ...
Well I have a confession to make: I do, and I do have many.
Let me share one with you and have a peek in my mind...Imagine. The kids are in bed and I’m alone.
One voice excitedly says: “Go girl, open the kitchen cupboard and indulge yourself in sugar, you deserve it.”
Then, there is that other part trying to prevent me. This voice sounds calm and wise, but also rigid: “Think about your teeth, it’s not good for you (voice up), come on! are you so weak you can’t even bear it for one time?’.
Do you know who wins?
And how it feels afterwards?
Black and white.
All or nothing.
Guilt is what remains.
It’s been a while since I last wrote my Carmen’s letters. An inner conflict in itself, I wanted to write, but didn’t make time… In January I started an intense practitioner NLP training and during this course I came across the technique that deals with inner dialogues.
NLP is an abbreviation for neuro linguistic programming. It offers various techniques to improve the communication with ourselves and others. In my own “miffy” words:
Neuro represents our brains that receive information through our 5 senses and makes an internal representation.
Linguistic: stands for language (verbal and non- verbal) and how we give meaning to the information that our brains receive.
Programming: our brains organise this information according to our own unique style based on our convictions and values built up during our lives and that makes also the way we feel about our experiences.
NLP focuses on the way our brains program our experiences (not the experience (or content) itself) and how we are able to change our own programming system and styles. A powerful tool in NLP is working with our unconscious mind.
The technique that deals with inner dialogues is called Visual Squash.
During this technique that works with both our conscious and our unconscious mind I learned to connect these opposite parts and to have a dialogue between my two inner voice which I honestly couldn’t imagine before.
Could “good cop and bad cop’ both have the same positive intention for me?
Could they work together?
Yes, they can. I found a ‘third’ path that is working for me. I still eat sugar, but in a far more controlled way.
Are you curious?
Do you have an inner conflict at work?
Do you find it hard to meet deadlines or to say ‘no’ to colleagues?
Please know that 4 to 8 hours career coaching is hugely subsidised via so called ‘Loopbaancheques’ and they are really easy to obtain. Contact me or visit my website www.carmencoaching.com for more information.
Fri, 02 June